Is there ever a good time to tell a lie?

Can lying ever be for the good of those who surround you?

The terrible thing about lies is that you have to have a very good memory to remember who you told the lie to, and why it was important to lie in the first place.  For the most part I have always felt that honesty really was the best policy.   Of course there are times when you have to be aware that the truth may well hurt another, and so there is an element of gentle care to be offered in the words that will take you to the uttering of the truth.

There are of course times when not telling the truth can seem the only option as you try to protect people.   These occasions are never comfortable, for there is the knowledge that eventually the truth will be revealed.   Then at the moment of revelation, there needs to be the hope that there is understanding about why the untruth was needed.

The hardest part of lies is when you find that you were party to a lie without your knowledge, and then the truth is revealed.   All depends on why the lie was told, but when it happens as an abuse of friendship, there can be hurt.   Hurt that you were not trusted to hold confidence.   Hurt that you were the cover without your knowledge.   Hurt in the revelation as you re-evaluate what you thought was a good relationship, and try to move to a new understanding of a personality.

Nietzsche said, “I’m not upset that you lied to me, I’m upset that from now on I can’t believe you.”

Lies change the landscape of our understanding of someone we thought we knew, and in the aftermath of the lie there is negotiation of a friendship or relationship.   Of course that negotiation can only take place if either party is prepared to talk to the other.

Is there ever a good time to tell a lie?

Probably not.   However they will always be part of the web of relationships we weave.   Some will be told because the protect the person they are told about, and some will be told to protect the liar.   Some hurt more than others.   But once they happen the only option is to move on, and see the world in the new perspective.