I wonder how well you are sleeping.

Today is the day I’ve finally decided to address properly my strange sleeping patterns that began around the time of thinking about moving.   There’s nothing serious just it would be nice to not toss and turn, eventually fall asleep, and then wake less than 6 hours later.   It would be nice to not feel fuzzy for much of the day, and then come bed time not feel tired at all.

As I said the strange patterns started in late May.   I’ve never been a good sleeper when there are things going on, and my head is still pouring over thoughts.   Post Kirk Session meetings of the past often involved a long wind down period as I poured over what had been said, by whom, and why it had been said.   Sometimes that would mean an email to a session clerk in the early hours of the morning – although as I’ve grown older and more confident in my abilities that necessity has passed.   Eventually I would lie down, and hope that the eyelids would close and a dreamworld would take over.

Of course being an avid reader, falling asleep has often involved reading a book.   Sometimes theology, more often that not a trashy, romantic novel.   Lately though I’ve not had the concentration for either, and so its “Oor Wullie” or “Good Housekeeping”.   Yet neither of these have offered the relaxation I may have been hoping for.

Not sleeping well hasn’t particularly worried me.   I’m happy, enjoying life, but something tells me that maybe it would all be even better if I didn’t get up every morning noticing the length of time I didn’t sleep for again.

So today is the day I start to sort it.

I’m going to head through to the kitchen as soon as I’ve finished this and make the vegetable soup, that will begin the process of eating properly again.   No more thinking in the 25 minutes before we eat what might be for tea, but back to the organisation of having a rough idea each day of what the meals for that day will be.   Then having had lunch, on this last day of the school holidays, I think that even though it is pouring with rain three of us will go for a walk.   The fresh air will probably clear heads, and we could all do with a little exercise after the Christmas and New Year sit around or party attitude.

There is a meeting tonight, but hopefully once that is over I can do some household chores, and then have a bath and head to bed to go to sleep.   I’m planning on creating darkness in what I feel is a luminous room, and there will be some covering of accidental light sources.   In a matt blue bedroom, the display on the alarm clock had never been a problem – in the shiny white and silver of a new room, at times there can be an almost disco affect.   It’s funny how when you don;t sleep there are all sorts of little things that take on new life and meaning, when you would never have noticed before.

I hope you sleep well.   And when the lights and darknesses that might keep you from sleep invade, may you be able to find ways of thinking how life might change for you.