Over the last few months I have hinted that there might be changes ahead, but only hinted because I still needed to know for myself that the decision to be made was the right one. That has been hard, and has involved a lot of soul searching, as I turn not just my life upside down but the three other people who share my home. While at times in the last 10 years there have been tough times, the reality is that this has been a great place to be. Predominantly family friendly, there have been people of all ages to be involved with. There was a thirst to try new things. And even now there is still much that could be done, and there are plans and ideas taking shape – and yet something niggled that change was coming.

The General Assembly of 2010 got under my skin as I had listened to a number of commissioners talk about ministers of leafy suburban charges who weren’t prepared to face the challenge of the church. I would still maintain that that is an oversimplification of the needs of a middle class congregation, for having been minister in a former mining town and a suburban setting they bring different challenges and different opportunities. I wouldn’t say that one was better than the other, just different. And in their difference they call on different skills, but also broaden your own engagement with faith, God, and people.

A couple of friends moving on added to the feeling that something was disturbing my settled place in life. It was a friend that encouraged me to revisit a parish profile that I had looked at but decided wasn’t really for me. While out walking, she spent time highlighting the qualities in me that matched what the profile was looking for. I returned home and had a look, and the fear set in for I could see she was right, so I turned it all off and ignored it for a while.

Sometimes good friends are pains in the neck, and in the run up to the closing date there were odd reminders. But it wasn’t just her. At one point I felt I couldn’t escape as the name came up in conversation or letters.

Quietly an application went in and I got on with life. Called for interview, I left the house with the memorable words of “don’t worry, they won’t like me and I won’t like them.”. Vaguely religious moment coming – sorry! God is hilarious! Try and throw all the obstacles in the way and they get shoved out of the way. There have been many memorable lines cast from my mouth in the hopes that I could stay with the familiar, good and loved. My favourite came at the second interview where I distinctly remember saying, ” don’t ask me to be sole nominee if you don’t want someone who asks awkward questions, touches things you don’t want touched and may turn life upside down.”

So with that Divine sense of humour, I found myself preaching as sole nominee to the biggest group of people I’ve ever seen. And then just to top it off, the vote and the response seem to confirm that the unsettlement was for a reason.

In this waiting time from sole nominee to induction date, there are mixed emotions. I am very excited to be heading somewhere new and to have the opportunity to use gifts and talents in a new place with different people. It also calls on me to be open to learn, as this is a new shape of being minister.

At times I feel sad and concerned that I have hurt and am hurting people that I have grown to love, and I think like me. Many of the congregation have been so kind and gracious as they delight in my future and yet begin to think about what lies ahead for themselves.

Then there is fear. The children today started at their new schools, and for the first time ever I cried as I left them (although not where they could see) because I have turned their lives upside down and asked them to leave friends behind. For the eldest this has been particularly difficult as he had a good strong friendship base. Those parents have assured that there will be contact in the future and so we expect visitors in the not too distant future.

The next four weeks involve saying good-byes and going through rooms systematically as I decide what to keep or get rid of from the last 10 years. There are removal companies that need to come and estimate costs. At some point a decision has to be made about which bedroom is for which child, as there is definite downsizing in bedroom size.

However I also need to be here in my head, as worship is still to happen for the next five weeks and a funeral awaits next week. And I want to enjoy being with the people here for they have been inspiring and caring as our family grew amongst them.